I met with my writing group last week, and it was just what I needed. Then again, I laid out what I needed and my writing group came through for me. Let me explain.

I’ve been in a writing slump lately. After I wrote 30,000 words in 30 days, my brain decided to shut down. Take a holiday. Hang up an ‘out to lunch’ sign and ignore me.

Not cool.

And with that came a massive attack of impostor syndrome. Not the first time, and I am guessing it won’t be the last. Phrases like, “I suck” and “Everything I write is garbage” bounced around my head like ping pong balls in a lotto drawing.

So I did something brash and a little counterintuitive. I shared the first three chapters of my forthcoming novel with the group. Two of the members had never read it (this group formed when I was already in the querying stage). And this is what I wrote to them:

I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, but always forget or get distracted or have that all-too-common attack of impostor syndrome. But this month, I decided to ignore the screaming fear in my gut and share the first three chapters of my book. I hesitated to send it because every time I re-read it, I think that it is hot garbage (see aforementioned imposter syndrome comment). I guess I am looking for reassurance that this is not hot garbage. Plus any other insight from y’all as to setting this up.

Self-pitying, huh? Kinda pathetic. Like asking a room full of people to “please clap.” Cringe. Embarassing.

Well, that’s how imposter syndrome works. And sometimes you need other writers to help pull you out of a hole.

I was overwhelmed with kind comments about everything from the pacing to the word choice to subtly subverting expectations in one scene. But there was one comment that really struck home. I am not going to get the exact phrasing, but it went something like this:

“These chapters flowed so smoothly. It felt effortless.”

For anyone who has written a manuscript and tried to get it published, they know exactly how much effort goes into the first few chapters of a book. These are the chapters that agents and editors base their decisions upon. They are the ones that cause people to keep reading or toss the book aside.

And writers — including those in my writing group — know the inordinate amount of time, energy, and effort that goes into crafting those first few chapters. Each line is dissected, examined, experimented with, and then carefully sewn back together. I have spent hours agonizing over how to craft a sentence so that the emotion hits just right. Not too much, but not too little. I’ve broken up paragraphs so that a specific phrase stands out more, only to rearrange the whole paragraph again because something didn’t feel quite right. I’ve wrestled with a sentence that was twelve words because it was too long, trying iteration after iteration until I realized it needed to be two short sentences instead.

And yet, another writer said it seemed effortless. Another writer who has also gone through the same effort and agony over the most minute details.

It was the highest praise I can imagine receiving. And it was delivered with a genuine smile in an almost-offhanded way.

It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to be vulnerable. Because the folks who are on your side want to help. And sometimes they don’t know how much they are helping.