Adapted from a submission I sent to the Maryland Writers’ Association following their annual conference in October 2023. I’ll be back again for their 2024 conference in October.

In October 2023, I attended the Maryland Writers’ Association’s (MWA) Brain to Bookshelf Conference. It was my first writing conference. I hoped to meet some cool people (check!), learn from smart people (check!), and find a great community of writers (check!). What I did not expect was to face one of the most nerve-wracking experiences in my adult life: Reading my manuscript aloud to a panel of brilliant young authors. 

I am not a person who usually succumbs to nerves in uncomfortable situations. As a mid-forties professional, I’ve encountered my fair share of high-pressure situations. I’ve met sitting Senators, Congressmembers, Cabinet officials, and even the President. As a former journalist, I once interviewed Nancy Pelosi. 

Yet nothing could have prepared me for reading my own manuscript – my first manuscript – in front of an audience of attentive, interested, and whip-smart young people. 

The opportunity came during the “Emerging Voices: Teens on the Young Adult Market” workshop. I was immediately impressed by the panel of teenagers speaking about what they liked (and didn’t like) about novels. I scribbled notes, trying to capture as much as I could. And then, the moderator asked if anyone would like to read a snippet of their work. 

My hand shot up. After all, I had worked on my YA Fantasy manuscript for years. I had tinkered and wordsmithed the first few hundred words a gazillion times, to the point where I practically knew it by heart. And here was my target audience! How hard could this be?

Oof. 

As I approached the microphone, my lungs struggled to fill with air. Though a cool October day outside, my palms poured sweat like I was in the fourth level of Dante’s hell. My voice, while not the most melodious in the best of times, came out with the confidence of a kitten hearing a vacuum cleaner for the first time. 

I squeaked through three hundred words, then shuffled back to my seat. I don’t think I made eye contact with anyone while reading or scurrying away from the spotlight. I strained to hear the feedback over the sound of my heart pounding in my chest. 

The panel of writers could not have been more gracious. They praised parts of the writing, and gave honest feedback about what needed more work. My sweaty fingers managed to write down their feedback, which I incorporated into the manuscript. 

I remember the anxiety I felt the first time I sent my manuscript to a beta reader. I had no idea there were even more terrifying moments as a writer. But at MWA, I discovered one. 

Yet, in the end, I am immensely thankful to the moderator and panelists for their kindness and thoughtful feedback. The only way to improve is to practice. And MWA not only gave me an opportunity to read my words aloud, but to do so in an incredibly supportive environment. 

It’s one of those moments that, as a writer, I will never forget.